Having a private party while in my meantime
Today, Friday, August 13, 2010, I welcome my meantime. I give in to the fact that I have to do some soul cleaning before love comes. One must say "hello" to change and welcome all painful truths and unwanted facts about themselves. One must realize while others go through the "meantime", it can be hurtful becaused closed scalps will have to be reopened on old wounds and that's going to hurt like heck.
During this process, I and others moved to change will realize some wrong thoughts drawn about that caused what has been felt, seen, believed, or even concluded from past relationships. I've realized love is none of the things I associated with it posing an awful feeling. I don't know if I've ever actually seen the kind of love I desire.
The image I had of love has smeared colors that are bleeding on one another. In the words of Iyanla Vanzant I wanted someone to make me fly, and not even care if the people on the ground can see my panties while I'm flying. Now I realize flying is something I have to do for myself, within myself, when I'm able to relax. Being in the meantime "is a process divinely designed to help me clear out my stuff".
During this private party, I embraced the fact that love is buried in your soul and no relationship (with anyone) can make it happen. So I decided to "mind my own business" by loving me, while being excited and celebrating me. I am learning "to fly on my own" because desiring love and not getting it when you think you should creates "static on every channel of your life".
So off I go, to work hard to become aware of myself and to accept myself for all and everything I am. In other words during these private parties, I will be cleaning house, throwing away somethings and tiding up others in an effort to disinfect my mind and sanitize my heart; in order to prepare me for God's take over and loves embrace. In the meantime, I'm going to learn all about God and self because life has a lot to offer me and I have a lot to offer life. Thank you God for your love today!!!! Thank you for forgiveness and for the "meantime".
During this process, I and others moved to change will realize some wrong thoughts drawn about that caused what has been felt, seen, believed, or even concluded from past relationships. I've realized love is none of the things I associated with it posing an awful feeling. I don't know if I've ever actually seen the kind of love I desire.
The image I had of love has smeared colors that are bleeding on one another. In the words of Iyanla Vanzant I wanted someone to make me fly, and not even care if the people on the ground can see my panties while I'm flying. Now I realize flying is something I have to do for myself, within myself, when I'm able to relax. Being in the meantime "is a process divinely designed to help me clear out my stuff".
During this private party, I embraced the fact that love is buried in your soul and no relationship (with anyone) can make it happen. So I decided to "mind my own business" by loving me, while being excited and celebrating me. I am learning "to fly on my own" because desiring love and not getting it when you think you should creates "static on every channel of your life".
So off I go, to work hard to become aware of myself and to accept myself for all and everything I am. In other words during these private parties, I will be cleaning house, throwing away somethings and tiding up others in an effort to disinfect my mind and sanitize my heart; in order to prepare me for God's take over and loves embrace. In the meantime, I'm going to learn all about God and self because life has a lot to offer me and I have a lot to offer life. Thank you God for your love today!!!! Thank you for forgiveness and for the "meantime".
Love it. I have read this twice and I'm getting something different everytime. Its raining and I'm up throwing out junk. I just left the dumpster in the rain. Man Jay I'm feeling you tonight.
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